180
I went to 180 barre classes in 2023.
It was for the Platinum Barre Challenge, held annually at our studio. I had no original intention of doing it, as it requires 15 classes per month and that sounded kinda impossible combined with parenting, working full-time, and the myriad of other hobbies and people I enjoy. But sometime around mid-January, other friends in the studio who were doing it ever so slightly nudged with that, “you’ve already done six classes, it’s just nine more!”. So began the monthly barre class math.
Barre class math. The only to-do list I actually kept!
Until around September, I diligently planned each month’s classes in the notes section of my phone. (A lot is riding on the notes section of my phone, anyone else?) By September, it was simply routine to sign up for the 15 classes with less calculus about whether it would actually happen. I also got used to the idea of doubling up to get two classes knocked out in one day. Packing up and walking out of work consistently on time without distractions became its own muscle memory.
To say I’ve noticed changes is an understatement. I am stronger by many measures. I can lift things safely, including my fast-growing seven year old. My posture is way better. Not that I don’t ever slouch, but I know the difference between supporting my body with my core and not. I stand taller. Movement for all other reasons is considerably easier and more accessible. Trying a new yoga pose or a new stretch warrants less caution. I’m still stiff in the mornings, like anyone over 40, but I can feel better relatively quickly with light stretching.
Most of the changes are mental, as anyone who has embarked on a long-term exercise program would likely say. I was a distance runner for 12 years. After marathons and countless other races, I thought there wouldn’t be much out there left to motivate me, in terms of exercise. A barre class doesn’t exactly have a finish line or a reason for spectators to line the streets of New York or make silly signs or even draw a crowd. Nor does it require travel to an exotic race destination or something to plan a vacation around, like I used to do. No one asks you about your time afterward, or if you had a negative split or a PR. You have to just assume you’re getting better every time you go to a class, without any data other than how you feel. Being a Leo, this was an adjustment. I like the people part, the praise part, the crowd energy part, the “look how hard I’ve worked at this!” part, the culminating event. (See also: directing a whole bunch of 75 minute musicals with hundreds of children.)
During my distance-running years, I took the super sampler tour of running injuries. If you can think of a typical running injury, I had it at some point, in varying degrees - from a couple days inconvenience to needing physical therapy for six weeks to wearing a boot and taking a season off. The injuries came for multiple reasons, but boiled down to not incorporating much, if any, of a stretching routine and from overtraining - doing too much too soon. It became very frustrating to go from feeling like I was in the best shape of my life to not being able to run at all because if I did, I was at risk for permanent damage. (Or because I truly couldn’t run through severe pain!)
Enter: barre. No injuries. Not much flashy data either, but at least I can go to class as consistently as I wish without setbacks. The classes are choreographed, the choreography changes fairly often enough to keep things interesting and not plateau, the teachers are trained to offer modifications for when maybe you’re feeling a little off in an area, and they offer ways to challenge yourself further if you want. I did maybe do a little something to my left knee towards the end of the year’s challenge, but guess what that meant? On the days it was hurting and a little swollen, I simply modified approximately two exercises out of the entire 50-minute class, to avoid bending my knee that one particular way, and could still do 98% of the class as normal. I could respond proportionally, particularly compelling for my mental peace.
In 2022, I had a double mastectomy after learning I had non-invasive ductal carcinoma. It was major surgery and I was out of work for six weeks. I was very lucky that all it required was surgery, with no further treatment of chemo or radiation. So lucky - a kind of luck I think about daily. The recovery, from what I read beforehand and was told, can vary widely. I had a very smooth recovery, in large part I believe because of the strength I’d built from barre. I was back in class six weeks later, able to do 95% of it with a few modifications. I was so grateful for that. I really needed something to not be hard at that point, after the mental and emotional depletion of an out of the blue cancer diagnosis. I only had to build back stamina, but otherwise I can barely tell a difference. I occasionally can’t pull off the barre for long periods of time (the muscles near my armpits are weird now) but that’s really all that I can notice. And I was overjoyed to have flowers from the studio gals delivered during my recovery; I really missed seeing everyone and the social outlet. (There’s that people part.)
My first class back post-surgery
When I first started going to classes in 2019, I really rallied when the teacher would compliment me, even if it was the smallest thing like, “good focus, Angie!”. I’ll take it! Sure, every muscle in my lower half is trembling and I have no idea if I’m doing it exactly right, but I’m focused, so that’s something. I worked up silly little goals where I’d notice who else was getting compliments and that their form was picture perfect and I’d think, “that’s me in two months" for that one part of class. I figured if I just gave myself half a chance, I’d get stronger and a 90-second plank wouldn’t feel impossible anymore. (All Classic classes involve a 90-second plank no matter the choreo, so I knew I’d have plenty of chances to work this out.) Then I’d move on to trying to earn at least one compliment during every class. Very silly, but it worked! I even weighed the compliments by perceived teacher difficulty. A compliment from a really tough teacher was worth more than one from a teacher on the normal side of assessing such things. All of the teachers are on quite a high perch of world-class athleticism from my little corner.
Proud selfie after finishing a (much shorter) challenge in March of 2021. I believe that one was 20 classes, in 31 days.
So I started doing that thing where I’d give myself a chance. I was working through the bit of defeatist attitude that it was too hard, I wasn’t in the right kind of shape for it, my job was too much to possibly fit this into, my home life was too busy with parenting and being a supportive wife, it was all “too”.
But it turns out, you can leave work on time and still do a great job teaching music to children and take care of yourself at the same time. And I’m still home around the same time my kid gets home from his after-school stuff, and I’m on time to see him in the first inning of a Monday night baseball game. So we work it out for all of us. And none of it is too-anything. As a teacher friend (and the commercial) used to say at just the right moment, “I could’ve had a V8!”
And, I’ve made friends! In 2022, I made a goal to start going more often, in a more focused routine kind of way. This very quickly got me in the room with the same people and it became even easier to get myself to go when I knew I’d see Cathy or Crystal or Karina or Rachel or Alison or Debbie or Gina or Sam or other Rachel or Kelly or Ruth or Meredith or Erin or Helen or all these people who are superhero strong and kind and funny and smile and care whether I’m there or not and think I should buy the outfit in the lobby and want to do a happy hour or get a group going for local events or even a Queen concert in Philly. There’s a real sense of community there and it’s special and even more worth celebrating.
So here’s to “look how hard I worked on this” #leo moments, and a mental 180-of sorts.
By the way, I won’t be doing the platinum barre challenge this year. At least, I don’t think I will. But I have solid reasons that I’m keeping to myself at the moment. ;-)
